


It's not Chirstmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower a.k.a. Wookie Jacket

by quicksylver28



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, not a very happy ending, tony stark uses his words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 13:18:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5541446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksylver28/pseuds/quicksylver28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Tony Stark wants from Christmas is time with Steve. Too bad it's not quite and simple as it seems.</p><p>----------------------------------</p><p>i tried to write a smut story for Minion Smutmas but i wrote this instead. Got a bit heavy on the word and light on the smut. maybe I'll do a sequel, maybe i won't. i'm not sure how to fix this right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's not Chirstmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower a.k.a. Wookie Jacket

"I'm sure that Captain America would agree that…"

Tony sighed and sipped at his champagne, making a face because it was the non alcoholic kind and that swill never tasted as good as the real McCoy. Unfortunately for him, the annual Christmas Charity Gala thrown by the Maria Stark Foundation for the deep pocketed NYC hoi polloi had been a 'dry' one for the past three years, thanks to the combined puppy eyes of both Pepper Potts and Steve Rogers. At least for Tony anyway.

So while the glitterati drank their way into donating heavily to the Foundation at the well stocked bar, Tony had to suffer his way through the event stone cold sober.

Damn their big cow eyes for being his kryptonite.

The only way he agreed to stay sober and sane at these things was by having either Pepper or Steve on his arm, keeping the boredom at bay and keeping a tight leash on the odd and often totally bad decisions Tony made when he had nothing to occupy his genius. And if either one of them were here tonight they would have been able to save him from the position he was in right now… and the epic Bad Decision that he was probably hurtling toward at speeds faster than light.

"… just not something Captain America would lower himself to consider doing…."

Taking another sip if his drink, because he was a masochist like that, he gave a slight grimace and handed the glass to a passing waiter with a sigh. It had been six minutes fifteen seconds since that horrendous woman had latched unto him like a remora fish to a shark and that she'd done nothing but preach about Captain America and his 'obligations' as a moral example to the masses.

Yapping on and on about Captain America like he's a just some symbol, a dream, some kind of caricature to be upheld, put up on a pedestal. A holy warrior for Truth, Justice and the American way… for certain Americans anyway. Not Steve, not the flesh and blood man that hurt and bled and loved like everyone else. The flawed but optimistic man that Tony had fallen head over heels for.

Six minutes and fifteen seconds too long in Tony's book and the sermon showed no sign of coming to an end. Sadly, he was flying solo not only for tonight but for the rest of the week. So much for a team Christmas. With the Avengers scattered all over the globe and Pepper in Japan for a last minute meeting with a client, he'd at least been looking forward to a great party and then a quiet Christmas snuggled up by a roaring fire with Steve.

Well, he had been looking forward to it before Bucky came into the picture.

It wasn't that Tony didn't like Bucky, in fact, he found the former Winter soldier's dry humour refreshing. The problem was that whenever Bucky was around, Steve seemed to forget all about Tony. At first Tony had let it go, seeing how fucked up Barnes was after escaping Hydra but after a while it got kind of old and as much as he understood about Steve's and Bucky's epic bromance through the ages, sometimes resentment burned cold in his chest .

Of course he felt like an asshole after and thus never felt comfortable enough to talk to Steve about it. Whenever he broached the subject of Barnes, Steve would get this happy look on his face at the mention of childhood friend and Tony would chicken out and feel like an utter heel for his ungenerous thoughts about Barnes.

So when Bucky had one of his episodes just as they were leaving the Tower for the Gala, Tony had bitten back the irritation when Steve had begged off going to the party. With a quick kiss and thankful smile, Steve had rushed back to the elevator, leaving Tony standing alone at the open car door.

"… and of course Captain America would never consort with those kinds of people…"

"Excuse me?" Tony raised a incredulous brow "… those kinds of people?"

*Air Control. This is Flight 272 Bad Decision coming in for a landing.*

"Why yes. The… the soiled ones. You know… the gays, the homeless, the feminists... the morally corrupt. They are not what America stands for. What Captain America seeks to uphold."

Tony takes a deep breath "Lady…"

*Don't bother clearing a runway really Control … any clear spot will do.*

He keeps his voice low and steady, like they are having a regular conversation. It's only the widening of her shocked eyes and paling of her face that betray the subject matter. He plucks the glass from her slackening hand before she drops it and places it on a nearby table. A hand on her elbow guides her to the railing as she seeks to steady herself.

"… and being one of the gays himself, I'm sure that Captain America will never ever let a sanctimonious thundercunt like you and 'your kind' dictate what he should or should not do… including laying down some sweet sweet fornication on your truly. "

Her jaw drops with a horrified gasp, clutching a hand to her chest.

"Well I certainly hope you don't soil Captain America with that dirty mouth Mr. Stark?"

Tony grins. "Lady, I suck his dick with this mouth. Trust me… he's all kinds of soiled."

The Tower is dark when he gets home and his shoulders slump a bit. JARVIS reports that he has six messages from Ms. Potts in the last fifteen minutes. As they play overhead, Tony grimaces, loosening his tie. Somehow word has gotten to Pepper half way across the fucking world about his encounter at the Gala. How she found out about it so quickly mystified him. But then again, Pepper always had her ways. Sometimes she was better at surveillance than SHIELD when it came to Tony.

After haranguing him about insulting a Senator's wife, she spent the sixth message thanking him for the best laugh she'd had all month. He smiled and sat on the bed, fiddling with his cufflinks. He thought about asking JARVIS where Steve was but didn't want to hear said out loud what he already knew.

With Barnes. Where else?

Stripping off the tux and pulling on an old T-shirt and a pair of sweats, he grabbed one of Steve's hoodies before pausing and putting it back. The scent of his lover that lingered on the jacket would only make him feel more lonely so he reached into the back of his closet and pulled out his wookie jacket.

He'd bought is as a gag while he was still dating Pepper. He'd also bought a copper bikini. Pepper had not been pleased with the Bikini but he'd been able to make her laugh again by making Wookie noises. They'd ended up binging the original trilogy on netflix that day and stuffing themselves with take away chinese.

A month later they'd broken up and he spent a lot of hours on the couch of his workshop huddled in that wookie jacket, the deep hood pulled halfway down his face. It made him feel safe, protected whenever he was feeling lonely. There would be no working in the shop tonight. Wookie Jacket time was about comfort and consolation.

He shuffled down to the common living area, picking through the fridge for something to eat, finally taking his loot to the large sofa and pulling up a movie. He had JARVIS kill the lights so that only the warm glow of the Christmas tree in the corner remained.

He was so engrossed in the movie that he yelped in surprise when someone spoke his name, flipping over a almost empty bowl of popcorn as he flailed.

"Dammit Rogers. What did I say about sneaking up on my like that? Why does every one around here like to do that shit? I swear one day I'm gonna put a bell on every damn one of you. Jesus."

Steve chuckled sheepishly and smiled. Barnes stood behind him and to the left like some ghostly sentinel. His face is pale and his hair loose under his dark red hoodie. It was one of Steve's and something in Tony tightens and gets cold at the sight. He slumps back unto the couch; snuggling deeper into the furry jacket.

Steve starts talking about the run he and Bucky went on and their misadventures with a local Santa who seemed to have a blood feud with the salvation army lady and the fight that broke out between them resulting in the little red salvation army bucket hitting Steve upside the head, spilling its contents out among the crush of last minute shoppers. Luckily, Bucky was able to pull Steve from the bedlam and get him away.

"Hmm yeah …. lucky" Tony mumbled, reluctant to hear about the time Steve spent not with Tony.

Perhaps that was a little uncharitable but dammit, it was Christmas and he'd really wanted to spend it with Steve.

Alone.

In bed preferably but he would take anywhere that Barnes wasn't right now for 200 Alex.

"What are you watching?" Bucky asks, settling on the opposite edge of the couch. Steve was raiding the fridge.

"Christmas movies." Tony grumbles softly. The sound of machine gun fire emits from the overhead speakers.

Steve plops down in the middle of the couch with a laugh, arms full of snacks and beer.

"Isn't Die Hard an action flick? I'd hardly call that a Christmas movie."

Tony scoffs "And you're suddenly the expert on pop culture now? Everyone knows it's not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower. "

Steve's smile falters and bit and Tony feels equal parts guilty and satisfied. He pulls the jacket tighter around his body and burrows deeper into the soft couch. The rest of the movie is spent in awkward silence, all of Steve's attempts at conversation met with stony silence from both corners of the couch.

The credits roll and Jarvis queues up the sequel. As Steve ducks into the kitchen for more snacks and beer Bucky turns that laser gaze toward Tony.

"You could cut him some slack you know?" Barnes murmured

Tony stared. "What?"

Barnes shrugged, tilting his head to where Steve is still raiding the pantry.

"He's got a lot on his plate right now without you busting his balls so much. Always making it like he's at your beck and call, running hot and cold when he comes. He's runnin' himself ragged after you. It's kinda selfish when you think about it. Howard was the same damn way. "

Tony could only gape.

"Wow."

He ran a weary hand down his face with a mirthless chuckle.

"Wow. That's…. I don't even… Wow."

He shook his head and took a deep breath, standing abruptly.

"Well that's about it for me tonight folks. Merry Fucking Christmas everybody."

"Tony?" Steve looks confused, standing there with a huge bag of Cheetos and a six pack of beer. "You're leaving? What about the movie?"

He looks so lost and a little bit hurt and its more than Tony can take. His heart aches as he looks between the two soldiers and whatever anger and resentment he's been harboring for the past months bleeds out of him, leaving hollow space. He knows where this is going. Where all his other relationships go.

God knows he tried with this one. He was attentive, he made time for Steve. He thought things through. He considered his words more. He'd made a real effort with Steve and still ended up coming in second. Well third really, first came Steve's Sense of Duty, then Bucky, then Tony. And it hurt, it hurt that yet again he couldn't pull first place in at least one person's life.

"Not really feeling it. I'm just tired I guess. Thought I'd hit the hay early. "

Steve frowned. "Oh. I just thought we could spend some time together, seeing that I missed the party and all."

Tony shook his head. "No biggie. Once you've seen one charity gala, you’ve seen them all. Besides…"

He glances quickly at Barnes, "… thought I'd cut you some slack for once. Yeah?"

He leaves before Steve can reply and goes down to the dark workshop and slumps unto the old couch. He figured the old thing had seen him through his last break up, it should be able to see him through this inevitable one.

"So Wookie Jacket time huh?"

Tony looks up to see Steve in the dim blue light of the spinning hologram Christmas tree that Jarvis had pulled up. Steve picks his way across the darkened workshop and flops unto the couch next to Tony, letting his head fall back against the backrest with a sigh.

"I was there after the big break up with Pepper remember? You always pull that thing out when you're feeling down. I just don't understand what I might have done to make you pull it out tonight. What's going on in that big brain of yours Stark? Come on you know you can talk to me."

"It's nothing babe. Why don't you go back upstairs and enjoy the movie with Bucky? I wouldn't want to hog all your time with your bestie.

"Is this what this is about? Me spending time with Bucky? This is about me missing the party tonight isn't it? You said you understood why I couldn't go. "

"I know, Bucky needed you, I get it. It's not just that."

"Then what is it?"

Tony bit his lip and kept his gaze averted.

"It's about the weekend in Sardinia we never got to or the Dinner at Rafaelo's that we had to reschedule three times. It's about canceled movie nights and date nights and waking up alone too many times. It's about spending more time working with Captain America than I do hanging out with Steve. I guess I just don't feel like fighting anymore, that's all."

Steve twisted his body to face Tony, a frown marring his handsome face. "But we haven't been fighting."

"Haven't we?" Tony shrugged tiredly, "… 'cause it sure feels like I've been fighting for a while now. "

"What does that mean?" Steve's voice is a whisper.

Tony turns to look at his lover's pained blue eyes. "You should go to Bucky… He needs you."

Steve's fingers clutch at the furry arm of his jacket. "What about you? What do you need?"

"Does it matter?"

He can't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice and he seen Steve flinch.

"Oh Tony …"

Steve's fingers brush Tony's cheek and he leans into the touch like a man starved. It had been along time since they'd had a moment this intimate and it made longing burn just behind his ribcage. He brings up his own hand to cover Steve's, trapping the warm palm against his cold cheek.

He pressed a soft kiss against the other man's thumb, another in the centre of his palm, his eyes falling closed as Steve's other hand pushes the hood off Tony's head, revealing his face and mussed hair.

"What about what I need?" Steve's breath is hot against his cheek, he gently turns Tony's face towards his.

"You? " Tony's lips almost brushing Steve's as he speaks. His pulse is racing and his skin feels hot. He licks his lips and swallows hard. "What do you need?"

"You. Only you." Steve smiles and presses a kiss at the edge of his mouth, then the other. "Please don't give up yet. I love you Tony. We can make this right."

Tony blinks rapidly, giving a nod and a smile as his face flushes. Steve's lips are on his and they open to his questing tongue. Steve's hand slips around to the back of Tony's head to hold him gently and it's all too easy to push aside the hurt and fall into Steve once more.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Sir but there is a situation in the communal living space." Jarvis' voice seems to carry a note of regret as the lights come up in the lab and the holo tree dissipates. Tony stiffens as if doused with ice water.

Steve is halfway to the door at the words and Tony feels the loss of warmth keenly.

"What is it Jay?"

"Sergeant Barnes seems to be suffering from a flashback from watching the movie and has inflicted significant damage to the coffee table."

Steve pauses at the door, looking back at Tony with pained eyes. "Is this… are we ok?"

"We're good." Tony waves him off with s wry grin. "Go ahead, go to your friend. He needs you now."

Steve smiles in relief and is gone in seconds. Tony lets the grin fall off his face and pulls the hood back over his face as the lab darkens. He stares as the holo tree starts its slow spin once again and feels the cold creep back into his skin.

"Merry fucking Christmas indeed."

The day dawns on Christmas eve and meets Tony aching from falling asleep on the lumpy old couch. A trip up to the communal space finds his large glass coffee table smashed to bits, cheetos and cans of beer scattered across the carpet. Tony absently tell Jarvis to have a cleaning crew sent up as he paws at the coffee machine.

In their shared bedroom, the bed has not been slept in… cold to the touch. He stares at it for a full minute before calling for JARVIS and grabbing his phone. Seven hours later he's on a yacht off the coast of Sardinia, the sun shining over crystal blue waters as he sipped on a mimosa.

He'd been planning this getaway with Steve for the past three months, postponing every time the Avengers were called out and more recently, every time Bucky needed Steve. They'd even been at the plane one time when a phone call had Steve frowning and apologizing. Tony figured this was how Pepper felt whenever he flaked on last minute plans and he'd sent her fruit bouquet and a key to his Chateau in the South of France. She'd been pleasantly surprised.

He'd even been granted special permission to moor a quarter mile off of Spiaggia Rosa or the Pink Beach on the island of Budelli, as he dreamed of making love to Steve on the crystal pink sands or watching Steve swim in the clear blue waters with only a tiny white speedo. It would have been magical.

Too bad they never made it here together.

The ocean is warm and he can see clear straight to the bottom as his stroke cuts through the water. He needed this getaway. He just couldn't stay at the tower, not so close to everything that had been happening recently. And he didn't want to languish alone, couldn't lose himself in work or in his robots, like he usually did. After last night, being so close to Steve again like that after so long then waking up alone. He'd felt a coldness inside that could only be warmed by the Mediterranean sun.

He's finishing up a lovely meal of shellfish in a spicy sauce over gnocchi stuffed with potato and mint when the familiar thrum of the quinjet sounds in the distance. Busted, he sings to himself as the black jet passes over head, a lone figure falling from the plane and splashing into the waters below. It's less than a minute before Steve is pulling himself up the small ladder, dressed in full Captain regalia, complete with stern countenance.

Steve waves away the server and pulls himself a seat across the small table, unclamping his shield and setting it aside. The cowl and gloves come off and are set on the table. He sits back into the chair, elbows on the arms, weaving his fingers together on his stomach. It's Cap's no-nonsense pose that he'd always found sexy as hell and Tony can't help but hide a smile with a sip of his drink.

"Hey there handsome, Come here often? I'd love to buy you a drink. "

A weary sigh.

"JARVIS wouldn't tell us where you were. "

Good boy JARVIS. He'd have to remember to buy his AI some cyber swag when he got home.

"You didn't leave a note. "

Oops. He knew he forgot something.

"Happy was concerned. "

Looks like he'd have to buy some nice things for the humans in his life as well in the near future.

"Pepper was worried. "

Lots of things.

"Rhodey was pissed."

Lots and lots of things

"Eventually we had to get SHEILD to track you down."

"Low blow Captain, calling in Agent Agent and his coterie like that. "

Steve frowned, his brow furrowing as he stared at Tony.

Tony fidgeted. "What?"

"You called me Captain"

"Yeah so?"

"You usually call me Steve when we're alone."

"Well if you're using SHIELD resources to track me like a wanted criminal and getting the drop on me from a moving plane, I'm pretty sure that it's Captain America I'm addressing."

Steve inhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. His blue eyes had a soft and sad look in them that made Tony's heart squirm.

" Tony…why did you leave? He asks softly, his tangled fingers belaying his nervousness. "I thought we were ok?"

He looked so earnest and so confused that Tony couldn't help but feel for him. He tossed back the rest of his drink and grasped Steve's hands in his own, stilling their movements.

"Steve… Babe… I'm so far from ok that I ran away from home… on Christmas eve."

"But last night you said…"

"Of course I said ok last night. Bucky needed you. What could I have said? Don't go? I need you more? After all Barnes has been through… after everything you've been through… you think I would keep you from your friend? I guess when I woke up this morning and saw that you hadn't come back, I decided If I was going to be lonely for Christmas then I would be lonely on my own terms. I've always wanted to come here and we've been planning this trip for months. "

"But you weren't alone. Bucky and I were there with you."

"Steve, you don't have to be alone to be lonely. You of all people can understand that."

Steve inhales sharply, gazing out over the ocean. He doesn't speak, lost in thought as Tony has the table cleared and the sun begins to set. Steve still doesn’t speak as Tony prods him off the deck and into the master bedroom, stripping him of his damp uniform and pushing him into a warm shower.

He leaves a white cotton shirt and pants on the bed. They're Steve's size. Tony has spare clothes for all the Avengers on his yacht and at each of his properties. Even if he'd only spent two hours as a boy scout in his misguided youth, it always paid to be prepared.

The stars are twinkling in the heavens by the time Steve joins him out on the deck. The air is warm and the crew have set floating lights around the boat before heading below for their own private holiday party.

Tony pulls a bottle of chilled limoncello from an ice filled tub and pours some for Steve in a frosted glass. Steve hums at the taste and takes another sip. They finish the first bottle and are on to the second before Steve breaks the comfortable silence.

"I love you both so much and I'm terrified of losing either one of you. It feels like the harder I try to hold on to the both of you, the more you both seem to slip through my fingers."

Wow. Steve wasn't pulling any punches tonight. He's staring up at the sky as if it held all the answers.

"You are my heart but he's my brother and I'm scared that one day, one of you is going to make me choose between you and I'm not entirely sure what my answer would be."

And wasn't that just the truth of it all.

Steve and Bucky had history. They had rhythm, chemistry. Steve and Bucky balanced each other and Tony had no place in that equation. Steve had watched Bucky fall once already and Tony knew him well enough to know that come hell of high water, he'd never let his brother fall again.

But if Steve wanted the truth, then Tony would give him that.

"I'm angry that you seem to put Bucky's needs ahead of mine… ahead of your own even. I'm hurt that you don't spend as much time with me as you used to. I miss you. I'm scared that if I tell you how I feel about the time you spend with Bucky then you would leave me… that you would hate me."

He waves Steve back into his lounge chair. He needs to say these things now while he still has the courage.

"Every time you leave me to go to Bucky, I feel as if you have already made your choice and it wasn't me. I'm a selfish person, I know I am. And I don't like to share on a good day. I was even okay with coming in second in your life because your sense of duty makes you who you are… the man I love. But now that Barnes is in the picture, I feel as if I've been relegated to third in your life and I don't believe I deserve that."

Tony looks over at Steve "For once… I need to be the one that comes first."

Steve looks distraught. "Tony… I… can't do that."

Tony nods, blinking away the sting of tears. "I know."

"What do we do now?" Steve voice wobbles a bit and Tony winces.

Setting down his glass with a clink, he hops out of his chair and holds out a hand for Steve to take. After ducking down to the master bedroom to change and letting the staff know where they are going, the two dive into the moonlit ocean waters and swim the short distance to the shore. The pink sand sparkles in the moonlight as Tony pulls Steve gently unto the beach with a kiss.

Steve's body glows in the gentle light, the white speedo looking even better that tony imagined. He runs his hands and his tongue over the warm and salty skin as if he can burn them into his memories. Steve seems just as desperate, pulling moans and cries from Tony like a man obsessed.

They laugh and curse at the water proof lube that smells like candy canes and at the damned pink sand for getting everywhere but when Steve slips into to Tony it's like coming home.

All he can do is hold on as Steve moves their bodies in that old familiar way. And maybe… just maybe... if he held on tight enough, he wouldn't ever have to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> I was surprised myself how honest Tony was about his feelings. it was heart wrenching to write and i found myself crying on Christmas day. the feels. hopefully, given time i can work this out somehow because i love Stony.


End file.
